When you’re caught in a breakup that you feel isn’t right, or even when you might feel that you’re doing the right thing, some feelings of confusion are bound to stick with you. Even if the decision what best for your particular situation, it is still ok to cry over the loss when you are alone.
When you are part of a relationship, regardless of how it ends, the person you are involved with will usually be an important part of your heart. This is why it is pretty hard to move on and just forget about them.
However, how would you know if the breakup was a huge mistake (regardless of how ended the relationship)? How would you know if it was better to try to get him back or moving on was the right choice?
We wrote this article in an attempt to help you find out whether you should get him back or just get on with your life. So let’s get right into it: When is it time to move on and when is it actually worth it to try a conciliation?
When Is It Worth Fighting for a Relationship?
When you feel that the timing was bad
There are instances when timing can make or break a relationship. Some people start to have problems when one of them has too much work or too much studying to do, eventually neglecting their partner. Others simply have other personal or family-related problems that make it hard for them to focus on their relationship, leading to an inevitable breakup. Even so, these are usually instances when you both feel like it could work between you and you won’t want to lose each other. In this case, we strongly suggest trying to work things out.
When they are consistent and do as they say
If your partner gets in touch with you and proposes to get back together, why not give him a shot to show you how serious they are? Let your partner show you that they aren’t just full of words and give them a chance to show you that they are ready to make the changes you need. When you are convinced that restarting the relationship is a good idea, do it.
You feel like it is the only safe and healthy alternative after giving it enough thought
You can break up for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes it’s something as small as a forgotten anniversary and sometimes it’s as big as cheating. But regardless of the reason, if you feel like the healthiest and smartest thing for you is to get back with your partner, maybe that’s really what you should do. If you don’t have someone to talk to, you can even try to get in touch with a counseling professional before making this big step.
When Is It Time To Move On?
When your values differ from your partner’s
Maybe the issue you’re having is that one of you wants children and the other one doesn’t. Or maybe one of you wanted to get engaged, or even married, while the other prefers a different approach to commitment. Regardless of the main reason behind a breakup, if the expectations for the relationship or general values differ between the two of you, then it’s probably better to go each on their own path. Big issues like commitment expectations, religion, or having children are things that could ruin a relationship if partners have differing views. You need to move on if you feel like this paragraph was in any way related to you.
When your partner was in the wrong too many times
Getting back together should be a big NONO especially if your ex did something bad repeatedly, like engage in verbal or physical abuse, cheat, or disrespect you in any way. Some of the most addictive relationships are the ones with toxic people because we like the rush of trying to make things work, so don’t get trapped in this kind of relationship. Remember the things you see as non-negotiable and stick to them. As soon as you see your partner repeat something you’re not willing to accept, it’s time to move forward and leave them behind.
When you left in limiting beliefs
If you want to get together with your partner only to counter the feeling of loneliness or when you are afraid that you might never find someone good enough for you (or any other type of “victim” thinking) then getting back together is probably a bad idea. If you lack confidence and self-love, you will usually be motivated to get back together based only on a type of fear – usually the fear of worse.
If your only issue is that you don’t have someone to go out with or don’t like the feeling of loneliness and really enjoy having someone to sleep next to, then you should not try to get back with your ex. You will see couples everywhere and you might hate having nobody to talk to, but these are not reasons to get right back into a relationship, especially if it was a toxic one. A lot of people stay in a relationship for really bad reasons – don’t be one of those people. You should try to respect yourself and enjoy yourself before finding someone to respect you and have fun with.
Remember that you are the only one who can dictate if you should move on with a relationship or just abandon it. So make sure you will never regret the decision you will be making.